--Crying for you-
I sit here crying
I feel like dying
For all those feelings held inside
So many holes felt deep within
Why do I feel so fucking thin?
I feel like nothing,
Just emptiness, and hurt inside
Why dont I just run and hide?
And if I did, who would care?
This shits too much for me to bare
Why cant I feel this thing I need?
I feel like I just want to BLEED!
And when I break, what will you do?
-or does my suffering mean nothing to you?-
why would it matter? Why should you care?
Its not something you needed to bare
Ill move on, my scars will heal
After all, we no deal…
-love for you, and none for me-
but impossible for you to see
is me here crying, forever frying,
for im in hell, and I AM DYING
All those feelings, held inside
I think Ill just run and hide
I wonder, if someone will say
"what happened to him, on that day?"
Falling through this downward spiral
I feel sick, I feel so vile
When will this pain go away?
I want to end this shit today
I want to leave, I want to die,
But im here…so….I cry
when there is nothing, my mind is free
and that is everything, I want to be
ive felt love, ive felt hurt
but now all I feel, are holes in my heart
if I find love, like before
id rather stay hidden behind this door
but is there was something better for me,
better than y nothingness sanctuary
it might be worth staying, here in this wourld
but until then, ill be in my head
lying unconscious on the bed.
Escape to nothingness, the downward spiral
A place of darkness, death, and denial
But within this place, is another in me
Where everything is nothing…my mind is free
Fee to wander, free to be
everything as nothing, inside of me
everything in nothingness, where everything is meaningless
and all that matters, is simply….nothingness
--This world saddens me-
I look around, but don't understand
What it is, that I have found
What has happened so recently?
Or maybe… its just me..,
Maybe ive just opened my eyes
Looked away from the skies
And down to this earth, full of hurt
And saw whats happening all around
Lying naked on the ground
Vulnerable, weak, and misconceived
Waiting for someone, to help me
Back to my feet, so I can awake
And face the day…
Im not sure who I am today…
Or why im here… or even… where…
I try so desperately to find
Something that can ease my mind
But its hard, cuz all I find
Lost love, betrayal, and hurt inside
I wonder if theres anyone there
Who would share this burden I bare
Without asking my soul in return
I wish that I didn't need
To feel something, NOT to bleed
Of whatever is happening
Why must you die, to ever be?
I now know why, this world saddens me…
How can you tell if you love someone?
I know I feel, but do I feel what I know?
I know I have feelings, I can feel them inside
But what are they saying?
Am I misunderstanding?
Or should I not worry
And let it work itself out?
I make decitions, but are they right?
Or is ther not really any wrong, or right?
Merely choices that shape your life
Ive made such decisions, but who will be hurt?
And will I be happy?… oh wait, I don't care
As long as someone I love is there…
--Who is me?-
Who is I?
I is me..
Or at least
I want to be
Free to be
Who is me
Free to love
Free to think
Free to believe
What I want to believe
And someday be
With another being
Who, just maybe
Wants to be, with me…
Who is me?
I is me…
I am Kody
--She deserves better-
I cant believe he doesn't care
I give her flowers and play with her hair
He just watches like he doesn't care
I held her hand, as we 3 walked down the hall
I know, soon ill tell her, ive begun to fall
I feel like shes stuck with someone
I know he loves her, and I know she love him
But what if this was something better?
Would it be worth it, to give her that letter?
I guess for now, ill just have to wait
Resist temptation to take her away
Maybe someday, ill call her mine
Perhaps, even happiness, maybe ill find
She deserves better
Not that im anything special
But at least I would SHOW her, how much I loved her
Unlike another, who can only tell her
And is letting her, be stolen away
Maybe this bullshit will end today, maybe ill tell her…
Anyways, all I know is, that she deserves better
--HER <never again>--
I saw her 3 times today
But all I did was smile and wave
No more pain, no more hurt
I think to day, was the first
Time that I, could pass her by
Without all the stitches coming out
And my heart, once again, falling apart
But with you on my mind,
What she did that time
Seems so meaningless inside
Its such a nice feeling, just, not caring
Things in the past, are now lessons learned
This that happened so fast, but are now in the past,
The feelings for her, I knew would last
But now there gone, and im awake
I no longer feel, completely fake
Or empty, or even hurt,
I think today,
IVE FIANNALY GOTTEN OVER…HER…
I have no right to feel what I feel
I feel like I just want to steal
Her away, and never return
Just look at him, he hasn't earned
The right to touch her, the way he does
Why do I feel these feelings of love
Only for the ones I can never have…?
But that's just me… that's how I find
The ones that I want to be mine
But its me, so I can wait
But I don't know why I cant take
Her a away and go somewhere
Or maybe we.. could disappear
All alone, for eternity
But im not that lucky, its not me
Im just the one that's supposed to be
Happy, cheerful, smiling
Its so hard to understand
What an imperfect soul can
Do to change this fucked up world
Just to be remembered…
I cant belive ive picked up this pen
Ready to pour my soul on this paper again
Its been so long that it feels wrong
Ive missed so many thoughts of mine
Some that I will never find
Im glad, I guess, but it has changed
The way I see, the way I percive
Even the way, I feel, I think
But when I write, it makes me belive
That possibly, happiness, CAN come for me
…..someday at least……sooommedayyyy….
my mind is somewhere
but its not here in my head
oh wait, I found it…
its there in my heart